
As parents, the dinner table can often feel like a battlefield. One minute you’re dodging the
endless snack requests, the next you are diffusing the dramatic begging for dessert before
dinner... Feeding kids can often feel like a never-ending battle. But what if I told you there is a
method to win the dinner table wars?
What is Division of Responsibility (DoR)?
Ellyn Satter, an expert in the field of child nutrition, developed a method of feeding coined the
Division of Responsibility, in effort to bring peace to mealtimes. DoR establishes roles for both
parent and child: parents are responsible for what, when and where food is provided, while
children are responsible for how much and whether they eat the provided food. .
It is natural for parents to worry about their child not eating adequate amounts of food to provide
the nutrition required for growth and development. It may even feel unnerving to relinquish
control over what types of foods and how much your child chooses to eat. Implementing DoR
encourages a more positive relationship with food for both children and parents. So, you can say
goodbye to “clean plate club” mandates, tears shed over broccoli, and using dessert as bribes.
Sounds like battles won, right?
Advantages of the Division of Responsibility:
● Honors Hunger Cues: Children learn to eat when they are hungry and stop when they
are satiated, promoting a healthy relationship with food
● Reduced Snacking: With structured meal and snack times in place, children learn when
to expect food, reducing anxiety and fear around food scarcity
● Confidence to Try New Foods: Eliminating food related rewards and punishments
allows children the opportunity to explore new foods at their own pace
● Family Style Meals: Reduces preparation of several meals for the family, while also
creating a relaxed and enjoyable environment that is tantrum free
● Cultivates Trust: Instills autonomy for children to make decisions about their own
body’s needs, building trust between parents and children
How Do You Put the DoR Into Practice at Home?
Set a Schedule
Set regular meal and snack times so your child knows when to expect food. Whether you have a
set schedule or a more flexible one, try to offer meals around the same time each day. This helps
regulate your child’s appetite and prevents snacking between meals.
Master Your Responsibility
As mentioned earlier, as a parent your role in the DoR is to be in charge of the what, where and
when. This means you decide what foods will be provided at mealtimes, where you will eat, and
when meals will occur. This is your opportunity to offer a variety of nutritious foods without
pressure. Offer a balanced selection (including both accepted and new foods) and allow your
child to choose what to eat and how much of that meal they consume.
Implement Family-Style Meals
Family style meals are a game-changer when it comes to DoR. Instead of plating your child’s
food at each meal, serve the food in the middle of the table, allowing everyone to help
themselves. This gives your child the ability to choose exactly what they want to eat and how
much. This encourages independence, while fostering a sense of inclusion and trust at mealtimes.
If your child refuses to eat certain foods provided, continue to offer them at future meals without
any pressure. It can take up to 10-15 times of trying a new food for a child to determine whether
they like it or not!
Let Go of Bribery and Rewards
It may be tempting to offer dessert as a reward for finishing dinner, but this can send the wrong
message. Instead of using food as a tool to manipulate behavior, encourage your child to enjoy
meals for the experience itself. This means letting go of reward, punishments and forcing food
onto your child. Mealtimes are meant to be pleasurable and without pressure, which allows your
child to explore food on their own terms.
Trust the Process
Rome wasn’t built in a day, and neither is cultivating a healthy relationship with food. It is
normal for it to take time for your child to adjust to a new way of eating. Be patient, stay the
course! With time, your child will learn to listen to their hunger cues, eat more mindfully, and
develop a healthier relationship with food.
Final Thoughts: A Battle Won
The Division of Responsibility is a proven tool to create a stress-free mealtime environment in
every household. Trusting your child to take responsibility for their food choices awards them
with a sense of autonomy. It may take practice and time to adjust, but with consistency, you’ll
find that dinner table battles become a thing of the past. Sometimes the best way to win is by
taking a step back and allowing your child to take the reins.
The Next Step
If you’re looking to implement a clear division of responsibility at home, our experienced
dietitians are here to help. Contact 360 Nutrition (805) 738-5700 to book a consultation today
and take the first step towards achieving success - victory is within reach!
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