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Conquering the Dinner Table Battle with Ellyn Satter’s Division of Responsibility



As parents, the dinner table can often feel like a battlefield. One minute you’re dodging the

endless snack requests, the next you are diffusing the dramatic begging for dessert before

dinner... Feeding kids can often feel like a never-ending battle. But what if I told you there is a

method to win the dinner table wars?


What is Division of Responsibility (DoR)?


Ellyn Satter, an expert in the field of child nutrition, developed a method of feeding coined the

Division of Responsibility, in effort to bring peace to mealtimes. DoR establishes roles for both

parent and child: parents are responsible for what, when and where food is provided, while

children are responsible for how much and whether they eat the provided food. .

It is natural for parents to worry about their child not eating adequate amounts of food to provide

the nutrition required for growth and development. It may even feel unnerving to relinquish

control over what types of foods and how much your child chooses to eat. Implementing DoR

encourages a more positive relationship with food for both children and parents. So, you can say

goodbye to “clean plate club” mandates, tears shed over broccoli, and using dessert as bribes.

Sounds like battles won, right?


Advantages of the Division of Responsibility:


● Honors Hunger Cues: Children learn to eat when they are hungry and stop when they

are satiated, promoting a healthy relationship with food

● Reduced Snacking: With structured meal and snack times in place, children learn when

to expect food, reducing anxiety and fear around food scarcity

● Confidence to Try New Foods: Eliminating food related rewards and punishments

allows children the opportunity to explore new foods at their own pace

● Family Style Meals: Reduces preparation of several meals for the family, while also

creating a relaxed and enjoyable environment that is tantrum free

● Cultivates Trust: Instills autonomy for children to make decisions about their own

body’s needs, building trust between parents and children

How Do You Put the DoR Into Practice at Home?

Set a Schedule


Set regular meal and snack times so your child knows when to expect food. Whether you have a

set schedule or a more flexible one, try to offer meals around the same time each day. This helps

regulate your child’s appetite and prevents snacking between meals.


Master Your Responsibility


As mentioned earlier, as a parent your role in the DoR is to be in charge of the what, where and

when. This means you decide what foods will be provided at mealtimes, where you will eat, and

when meals will occur. This is your opportunity to offer a variety of nutritious foods without

pressure. Offer a balanced selection (including both accepted and new foods) and allow your

child to choose what to eat and how much of that meal they consume.


Implement Family-Style Meals


Family style meals are a game-changer when it comes to DoR. Instead of plating your child’s

food at each meal, serve the food in the middle of the table, allowing everyone to help

themselves. This gives your child the ability to choose exactly what they want to eat and how

much. This encourages independence, while fostering a sense of inclusion and trust at mealtimes.


If your child refuses to eat certain foods provided, continue to offer them at future meals without

any pressure. It can take up to 10-15 times of trying a new food for a child to determine whether

they like it or not!


Let Go of Bribery and Rewards


It may be tempting to offer dessert as a reward for finishing dinner, but this can send the wrong

message. Instead of using food as a tool to manipulate behavior, encourage your child to enjoy

meals for the experience itself. This means letting go of reward, punishments and forcing food

onto your child. Mealtimes are meant to be pleasurable and without pressure, which allows your

child to explore food on their own terms.


Trust the Process


Rome wasn’t built in a day, and neither is cultivating a healthy relationship with food. It is

normal for it to take time for your child to adjust to a new way of eating. Be patient, stay the

course! With time, your child will learn to listen to their hunger cues, eat more mindfully, and

develop a healthier relationship with food.


Final Thoughts: A Battle Won


The Division of Responsibility is a proven tool to create a stress-free mealtime environment in

every household. Trusting your child to take responsibility for their food choices awards them

with a sense of autonomy. It may take practice and time to adjust, but with consistency, you’ll

find that dinner table battles become a thing of the past. Sometimes the best way to win is by

taking a step back and allowing your child to take the reins.


The Next Step


If you’re looking to implement a clear division of responsibility at home, our experienced

dietitians are here to help. Contact 360 Nutrition (805) 738-5700 to book a consultation today

and take the first step towards achieving success - victory is within reach!

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Fax: (805) 738-5701

400 Mobil Ave Ste D9
Camarillo, CA 93010
USA

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